Become the victim, or come prepared


Why is it some people in our society are so violent.  I do not know.  But, I do know, you can choose to become a victim, or you can choose fight or flight.

I re-blogged a survivor’s story earlier.  In it she blamed women who fight their attackers.

I always recommend self-preservation.  Be alert.  Be safe.  Be aware of your surroundings.

Do not drink and think you are safe.  Alcohol is your worst friend, your second worst enemy.  A perpetrator is your worst enemy.

And should she read this, I must warn, I am also a survivor of violence.  My choice is one of survival my way, and I feel you might be offended.  So, please, do not read more.

I have been lucky (OK, God protected me, but since most people do not believe in God, much less His providence, let us leave it at lucky.)  I have been ‘attacked.’  And I survived rather well, thanks to God or luck.

OK, reading up on the subject.  [Most of my previous studies had dealt with criminal assault and thefts.]  I found more than half of the women who fought felt fighting helped them.  (read here.)

That is consistent, but lower, than those who fight their armed robbers.  Those who are prepared to fight gun-armed robbers find their survival rage is greater than 90%.

Quickly going out I found this:

“Experts agree that the single most important step toward ensuring your personal safety is making the decision to refuse to be a victim [bold added]. That means that you must have an overall personal safety strategy in place before you need it.”  (from here).

This I agree with.

I do not agree with the anecdote of a survivor who tells other women to NOT fight.  And further, I do not agree that

[emphasis mine] “But I also know it [the belief women can protect themselves] is a totally unrealistic delusion, and it [the belief] is one that is extremely harmful to a victim of sexual assault or abuse.  Like my friend, I believe that it [the belief] perpetuates and reinforces this kind of crime. Unfortunately I know this from experience.”  (from here.)

OK, first let me break this down.  Believing you have a right to self-determination, protection, and preservation does NOT MAKE YOU A CRIMINAL OR A VICTIM.


Further, having studied violent crimes, being a prepared and armed citizen GREATLY reduces your probability of BEING chosen for an assault, and GREATLY increases your survival rate.

That is based upon gun-armed intruders facing armed home and store owners.

What I believe seems to correlate well with the other data I found on-line as I researched this victims claim that not preparing or defending is the only option.

It is your choice.

Be the victim, or be the prepared.

If you are prepared, always remember to reload.  You do not want to find yourself in a second bad situation immediately following the first, on empty.

What is your opinion?  Was I too light on her?  Or, was I just calm enough?


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6 Responses to Become the victim, or come prepared

  1. misslisted says:

    You clearly misunderstood the premise of my post. I did NOT blame women who fought their attackers. My point was simply that it is unhelpful AFTER a woman has been raped to tell her she should have fought back. She may have had to make that decision for her own safety based on the circumstances. Of course I would urge any woman to learn self-defense techniques and to be prepared that she may have to fight…or be passive. Every situation is different.

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