What is wrong with marriage?

Friends,

I live most of my year in Ukraine.

Beautiful country. And very much a part of the Former Soviet Union (Russia).

The people are very Slavic. They speak Russian, and some speak Ukrainian.

They are very family oriented. You cannot understand them without understanding their need for family. To them marriage is a part of life, growing up, and family.

So, imagine with me as I flew back to the USA.

I get off of the plane, and I enter a familiar and strange world. I came back to America.

Many women do not want to get married. Now, that is not what most women would tell you.

What they would tell you is they “want to be certain he is the right guy.” On the surface, this sounds smart. Especially given how many people will get a divorce.

But, what would any of that have to do with the ‘average’ 35 year old single-woman living with a man for five years, and still going out to ‘party with the girls?’

By the way, the average married woman is happy and only married ONCE. Over two-thirds of first time marriages stay together according to the IRS. They have a lot of tax returns indicating this.

So, why do so many American women think marriage is a dead end? Ukrainian women think marriage is a goal. Like Cinderella, they want to be appreciated for being women.

So, why the difference?

I think it is because of our media and hollywood. I think women (& men) have been taught to believe marriage is bad.

Can we restore marriage to being a good thing for American men and women?

I am not sure.

But, what is wrong with marriage? From my point of view,

Nothing.

But, there is something wrong with what we think about marriage here in America.

Do you agree? Disagree?

Ghost.

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6 Responses to What is wrong with marriage?

  1. sally1137 says:

    Good question. I think it depends on your perspective. If you go into marriage “leaving yourself an out,” that out will be used. If divorce is not an option, then it’s not used. Obviously, that’s for the “frivorce” rather than a divorce over spousal abuse, which is a different matter.

    About ten years ago, an acquaintance came to me for advice (which surprised me because I’m certainly no fount of wisdom). She was thinking of leaving her husband of thirty years.

    I asked her why. The best reason/excuse she could come up with was that he was a grouchy old fart. (If that was grounds for divorce, nobody would be married…but I digress.)

    So I told her my advice: “Ask yourself, will I be better off WITH him or WITHOUT him?”

    She got the divorce, broke her decent husband’s grouchy old heart, and ruined their grouchy, yet financially stable little life. Had to sell the house, split up their 401ks, all that nasty stuff. And at age 55, she was back out on the market.

    I saw her a few years later. She told me she made a mistake and should have listened to me.

  2. smirei says:

    Different thinking is caused by some cultural difference.Ukrainian women are more family-oriented historically but at the same time they prefer to find money maker instead of making money by themselves.American women are ready to work hard but they don’t care about anything else.But even living in the most family-oriented country doesn’t determine our personal happiness in marriage.
    Mirei

    • Mirei,

      I love your comment.

      I would like to point out, Ukrainian women work hard also. And their happiness is pretty high.

      Do you think we can bring back traditional families here in America?

      Ghost.

      • smirei says:

        I think that there bis nothing impossible if you start from yourself. You start, people look,people follow.
        Because all of us, despite any difference, strive to peace, happiness and love in their homes.
        Mirei

      • Mirei,

        As a man, how would I measure peace and happiness? Love is a little easier for me. I hope.

        Thanks

        Ghost.

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