I am at a hotel in Arizona. And this morning, I spoke with two people who are enduring the disaster we call divorce.
One was a woman, and the other was a man.
The woman had found it necessary to leave her husband. And the man’s wife had abandoned him. They are not related, although, I think they know each other.
The ironic argument for divorce falls apart when we look at his marriage, but it is supported when we look at her marriage.
So, let me look at his problem, first.
He was married for almost 20 years. His wife left him. And he is paying for her choice to leave him.
Her choice was good for her in his mind. But, let us look at the basic costs to the rest of us.
He only sees his children some of the time. He took a second job to afford the penalty he is paying her (child support).
But, we are paying her for her choice.
Because she left him, she qualifies for food stamps and supplemental income. Ironic. She is getting half of his income in child support, but now she gets welfare …. that is expensive for you and for me.
He brought up the advantages for him if he moved to California, but he said he could not justify leaving his children for the year and a half it would take for him to get fair treatment. He said, “I cannot live without my children. So, I took a second job.”
Her second job? Welfare.
Therefor, I believe most divorces are bad for the rest of us. Children of divorce suffer a greater risk of becoming criminals, divorced, alcoholics, and even depressed. That is an even greater expense.
However, I mentioned the other side. The woman I referred to is also going through a divorce. For her the cost is much less. And the cost for us is much less.
She is not on welfare.
She left a life of verbal and occasional physical abuse.
For her, divorce was a positive option.
But, again, for most of us, divorce is a negative option.
How many positive divorces do you know about?