I spent years during my Agnostic period. I still went to church for Christmas with family. And I visited the Chapel on the Army Bases I was at.
I was a firm Evolutionist, primarily because I believed the Big Bang was true. And it seemed to follow that if Science had gotten that right, they should get Evolution right.
I had some weird encounters with people. But, some I chalked up to accident. And some I began to think might have had a spiritual connection.
So, what pulled me out of Agnosticism and back towards faith? I still do not believe what happened.
I had had a good Friday night. I had had most of a 12-pack of beer. And there were 2 Budweisers left in the fridge. Those who know me, know I am not a fan of Bud (I feel an advertisement opportunity …)
I was living in the Barracks at Fort Hood. I felt great! Especially that morning. I had slept in a little. And I was very refreshed.
I was an up and coming soldier. And I had a bright future in front of me in the US Army.
I loved where I was in life. And I genuinely loved my career.
I opened my first beer and thought, “Only one more … I will need to go to the PX (like a corner gas station)” I went back over to my bed (bunk). I took a deep swallow as I turned around to sit on my bed. I thought, “I really should go to the store and get at least a six-pack. It is only 10 AM …. “
The sun was coming through my window and cast picturesque rays of light across my desk and my books.
I thought about wiping the dust off of my desk.
About the time my backside touched the bunk … someone spoke to me.
I jolted up and began looking around the room. The surprise faded, and I thought, “Don’t drop the beer. I do not want to GI (clean) my room right now.”
Two syllables had been spoken.
I became angry.
“Who are you? What do you mean it is time? What are you talking about?”
“It is time to come back.”
“Who the blank are YOU to tell me what time it is?” I think some of my Army backbone was showing. I was ready for a fight. Physically, I had tensed up. I had to keep relaxing my right hand so I didn’t crush the can and send beer all over the room.
I took another long swallow.
“You know who I am. You know what I am talking about.
I cursed. I knew this had to be God. I was so angry, the beer did not taste good any more.
I cursed some more.
Finally, the voice got quiet.
And then I had a little talk with myself.
It went something like this:
“Did you just cuss out God?”
“How do I know. That could have been a split personality that I did not know I had. It could be some other god, or even a demon.”
“Well. What are you going to do?”
I will finish this part of the story later.
But, at that time, I was Agnostic. I was a Theistic Evolutionist. That means I believed that Evolution was the method which brought us all here. And it probably meant that some god helped it along, but it was all simple Darwinism.
I was a simple Agnostic. I felt that there being a ‘god’ made some sense. But, I knew many arguments against a ‘god,’ ‘gods,’ or a ‘God’ were supposed to be Fact.
And over time, you will read why that is important to the rest of the story.